loved your brain
sorry
I couldn’t fuck you
taught me
to appreciate words

still
couldn’t fuck you
over and over
a movie ending

I tried
I failed
besides
truly loved your
brain

he drove a bread
truck
told me all about
it
stopped listening to
everything
except his eyes

did he
like what he was
seeing
even listen
to what he was
saying

let me off
drop me anywhere
let me be
fucking alone

imagine pressure

imagine an explosion

shit everywhere

more

than a sponge

hot soapy water

could

ever fix

scariest
moment
in my death
living
not even trying
go write
the worst poem
ever
make it brief

does not
affect the outcome

mother
had it difficult
juggling
the job and
sex

smells
like propane
or
somebody dying
in
the basement

she
made me smile
all the while
crying
her way
thru the day

where I live
now
there are horses
not everyone
drives a car

I can imagine
that
I guess

finally gone crazy
free from the
everyday

silly

her smile

could

break your heart

so

be careful

and somewhere in
the past
there is
this tiny person

waiting

write something new
make it up

the day began
like
any other
except
I had
gotten
up early to
look
out the window
at the shadows

they were all there
gathering
getting ready for
thanksgiving

I will make the turkey
if you
help

***

long
after
you left
your words stayed
your breathe
found a pen
wrote instructions

here to burn

so I moved
because
I had to find
someplace
far enough away
to visit
cleaned
the old house
putting words
carefully in boxes

I know you understand
I know you just
do not
like to talk
use such words

***

became ill I
suspect
became a drawing
artist rendered

here is today
complete

didn’t notice that you
noticed
pretend we are well
and fine

I am not
I hope
you are

courage is the peace
and the power

they were sisters
having
dinner with their father

my job
was to bring
the mac and cheese
the steak salad

the onion ring appetizer

dad had pasta
young and bored and
awkward and waiting
for happiness

I wish I could
bring them that and
maybe
I did
for the sisters