care giver.when i was a care giver,i gave care.as a care giver,you spend time with someone who is sick and likely passing.it is helpless,it is madness.
words become useless.time became useless.work was a holiday,when you would drive me.
slowly,you would no longer drive.
by the time you knew it was over.
and today i wonder.
lucky enough to be here,to be a care giver.we find what we need and seldom it is what we want.all there in a frozen moment.the days were filled with air and hope.what you would find useless,less to less.gone,replaced by a different kind of air.
hope you do not go thru the same shit that you went thru here.that somehow,the design is different.intelligent.that we understand health and healing.does your soul need soothing.
a guilt free bakery,a hospital that works.a worry free new year,however functioning equality.
the same shit is still here.the same useless words,their mixed up meaning.
here you would be a baby.

leaving here for
outer space

left
you
a note on
the refrigerator

so
when you get
up and
grab the cream
you can read
it
if you want

while
you pet the cat

miss you
because
i know
you
are not here
anymore

making me
sad

on a sojourn
all along
just
never knew

busy
vast amount of
debt
owned
by a financial
institution

life is fucking
difficult
when laughing appears
impossible

busy
on a sojourn
watching
the leaf fall

never new
waiting
for the rest

maybe
there was more
maybe not

this is it
this high
rise apartment
overlooking
the sunrise

did not go
to harvard
did not even
go
to grammar
school

mom
gave me a
dictionary
said
“here,go learn
about words”

a professional
professor
fuck you
so i learned
how
to kick
a
can

enter tomorrow

could not imagine
being happier
having waited
surrounded by
isolation
hours spent
days
turning on the sink
glass with
ice
in hand

thanks leon
because
without you
none of this
would
have ever
happened

imagine
spending just one
night
with bullets and
bombs
exploding
maybe even killing
a friend

your
sense of optimism
is
almost perverted