it was
the last time
we
would speak
forever
memories
it
was the
first
time i felt
full

was wondering
was wishing
was

captivated

needing only
light
then some
shade

all
the necessary prayers
say them
daily
say them
knowing
someone
hears

yelling matches
about
leaving who
would get
out
first

under her tongue
she keeps
plutonium
and a couple of
words
she hardly even
uses

my home
must be somewhere
thru the window
not even whispered
clear as the sky

came here as dust
with a ticket
marked
to anywhere

not
doing any of those
things
still

at your side

a good
day
to
stop feeling
any
pain

nobody
will ever
hate
you
like me

telling me to
wait
a little longer

you were busy then
betraying
all making sense
to someone

inside the seed
wish it were a plant
edified
then i could eat it

maybe
then
i
could make it
grow

turn it into something
breathtaking

you fucking pig
fuck
do not need you

generation of swine
all grown up
thank you Hunter

for trying

she recognized
it was uncomfortable

and in other news
the warmest year on record

they met
talked about it

what creates a problem

the vegan world
the one we live in
looks like a deer
must be a gun

loves the taste of blood

 

 

presumably
cursing god
safety
being in trouble

studied jazz
mostly piano and
learned to improvise

took the program
told the sponsor
make me a promise
follow thru on
your education

then we hugged

was so fucking sick
thought i was dying
cause i am

asking for a pardon
just let the clock
tick
a little longer

found
what was missing

_  _  _

the death release to
somebody
you probably know

heard the fatal news
said something about
not coming here
surrendered
not really
just did not want
to wander
without and
how
that is nonsense
spoken
in thought and
in person

__  __  __

how
to release
yourself
from yourself
thru rhythm
or performance
backstage
concentration
hitting the mark
and the light finds you
empty

refusing to go there

would rather be thoughtfully
rich
as in a bird with
a sensitive beak
craving

never thought about being
captured or ruptured
or anything except maybe
landing after all
perfecting the difficult
the impossible
please do not let me leave
we can pray
often
seldom
invisible
because i see
tortured parts and
by people you
know

please come here and
stay
save a front row seat
put them on the guest list

please come here and
stay
type a song write about
happiness forgiveness
found what was missing
waited forever
found what was missing
making me wonder
making me missing
frontal lobe silence
anticipated distortion
so fucking sick
thought i was dying
cause i was
loving you
anyway