let me load the gun
let me point it
at my head
let me load the gun

i am john kennedy jr
am one of those
removed
by the highway assassin
were they ever
caught

i am a lie that
became truthful
fed up and tired
fueled by frustration
and remorse

read that in a book
somewhere
in one of those pews
from one of those pulpits
by one of those preachers
made up for television
forgot which one

the tree was growing
long before i
arrived

there is a driveway
here
leads to
this house in the
back

departing
couldn’t wait to
get
out

the tree was growing

do not really go
just sit here
next
to the tree

can not stop breathing

tried once
lasted
almost
24 hours

there in spirit
my body
being
somewhere
close to you

do you
know what i mean

no

joy
surround me
thru
this troubled
time

joy
surround you
see
what
you need to
see

beware
all your friends
are foul
they
want to
steal
seal you
with
the misguided
kiss

now we get a lesson
a map
left
by a dog
where is the bone

so i puked
your picture
on a canvas
in a gallery
next to
a portrait of
Duchamp
felt
hung
on a nail
a urinal
without
a drain

appeared as
a broken down
dull knife
stuck in the
throat
of someone
imposing
larger than a
shadow
projected
on the ceiling
of a
hospital
where i
stayed

adore you
and
always will
can
hurt me
no
longer
happy
and unable
to
speak

said
why
care

said because
caring is better
than using a
spoon to
scoop out your
eyes
and feed them
one at a
time
to nobody

how’s life
going
gone lost
as if
laughter was
painful

are you happy
do you lie
that’s right baby
overexcited
forward
sightless
congratulating
all
accept yourself

desperate
for just
a key
to throw
into the ocean
on the sand
watching
it splash
and
sink