surprised
shouldn’t be

after
days
weeks
months
decades

to
find myself
living
like
this

***

lots of
ice
fresh orange
juice
and some
dark
rum from
Jamaica

***

this
evaporates
i want to
call
and
there is no
phone
to
dial

i am alone
i am forever
i am a memory
you
the happy ending
on
the river of tears
fishing
just
sitting with your
book

yesterday ended
maybe some other time

moving with
the speed of a shadow
trails found in starlight
in the eyes of
god the mother

you must know
you must be able
to prove it

her fingers
massaging your shoulders
waits returns
for your neck
for the silence
to engage

unaware of the unaware
the bullet or the sword
the word printed
on the back of
your skull with
explicit directions
the silent code
allowing you to live
in a dream of
your very
own

and this is what
she said

i get to read off
the teleprompter now
these sentences still
written by some
angry asshole who
still knows absolutely
nothing

and
i waited for this

change

he said he
talks
to god
said
god gives directions

turn right there
turn left here
follow the signs
the arrows

they brought the holy
word the good book
and salvation
now they knew
they were saved

free from the demons
under
the willow tree

you were here
last
night
sitting in the
empty chair

drunk and sure
and smoking

talking about
fudge
your broken toe
and the bandage
not
on your middle
finger

it was fun
it was quiet
it was last
night

while
i am here
while
it is fun
before
someone else takes
over

i know you
i thought so
watch yourself change

blood or air or
both
money in the vault
the car without brakes
order a cure
the make believe tomorrow
a gold mine filled
with swimmers
and an endless
sky

it is not
over
until
the baby”s fed
and
the diaper is
changed

crying then laughing
then
eating
a sandwich
the diagnosis is
alarming
like light
on
a fire truck

will you
order a pizza
and
have it delivered
there’s time you know
for that