shadow of the pine

wow
i am fucking old
surprised
and you are not
still will be
enough soon

gambled and came here
with reason connected
deep rooted maybe
one of these trees

were you shocked
withdrawn from the place
you thought you knew
made you feel good
nightly

cucumbers and the green man
not much of anything else
that mattered
lap cats by the fire

said you
did not want to
leave

spoken heard nothing
fingers on the couch
touching as your body
panicked

then say goodbye
just
wanted to get drunk
and fuck people
do not
need you here
i have visitors
nowhere  now here

when you do not talk
you do not have
to say anything

you will return

sleep in the orange
room with the summer
sun
knowing so little
expecting so much
more

you will leave

you will come back and
sit
in the shadow
of the pine
inside the fire
needed
and safe